Babble

‘Tis the season and I’m enjoying all things Christmas, which unfortunately doesn’t include regularly updating my website. Like most people, I just wish there was a little more time in each day this time of year. This season is a little busier than usual, due to the JeffO/Molly wedding extravaganza, but things have been going pretty smoothly so far. That said, I’ve noticed the little things are getting to me a bit, so I thought a little PSA might be appropriate to promote peace on earth, joy to the world and goodwill toward men.

• Nail clipping is to be done at home. Not on the bus, not at work and, clearly, not during meetings.
• Do not talk on your phone while actually using the bathroom in a public stall — at the grocery store, at work, or really, anywhere. That’s weird and kind of gross.
• If you take a phone to work, keep it on mute, vibrate, or at least something semi-appropriate for the office. There’s no silence quite so awkward as the one that follows your 50-yr-old coworker’s ringtone of “Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me” at volume 10 when clients are present.
• The dotted white line going down the center of the road divides the road into two lanes. Pick one. Just because there is snow in people’s yards does not give you the go-ahead to drive down the middle of a snow-free street.
• Along the same line, if you own a hybrid car (kudos, btw) that doesn’t perform in snow, don’t repeatedly drive it in snow anyway and then constantly complain about the snowy weather. It’s Wisconsin, buy snow tires or take the bus.
• If your sole job is to wrap gifts, at least ask if the customer wants the price tag removed before assuming otherwise. Also, do not excessively tape scraps of paper to each gift describing which gift is which if the tape does not remove without tearing the wrap.
• If you want me to donate, buy, or support something, do not call me after 10 p.m. on weekdays or before 7:30 a.m. on Sundays.
• And to Apple, specifically: if you want me to use your new products, they should be able to work on slightly older Macs. Conversely, if you want me to avoid these problems by buying your new $3k Mac Pro with Penryn processors, you need to make it available for consumers to purchase.

I feel better now. Best wishes for a quiet, traffic-jam- and nail-clipper-free holiday season surrounded by competent, considerate people.
-j.

PS In lieu of Christmas cards this year I will be producing a slideshow for Jeff and Molly that has nothing to do with the holidays, but will be available for download in a week or so, and will hopefully be more entertaining than a greeting card. Falala.