Babble

Ok, so here’s the deal. I’m finally getting around to updating this on the 22nd of September because, in a nutshell, I was not given the option to purchase a parking permit for one of the four lots I requested. Along with 750 other people who applied for parking and in response were told “no”. In Madison, Wisconsin, population 200,000 (aka hardly NYC). I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions about the wisdom of that decision and the morale of the employees affected. The end result for me has been an increase in commute time from roughly 30 minutes to 2 hours -by bus- round trip, which in turn has eliminated my morning trip to the gym, all lunch meetings and errands and made the logistics of post-work outings flowchart worthy. Not to mention getting to actual work meetings, going to the bank/post office/dentist etc., getting my car washed or a hundred other trivial things which suddenly became nearly impossible. Don’t get me wrong, I really like the idea of public transportation and enjoy the time I have on the bus but at the end of the day it’s hard to swallow the fact that I’ve spent another 2 hours of my life sitting on a bus. Meanwhile the gym remains unattended, the website not updated and Fizz -the greatest source of material joy in my life- sits in the garage, undriven. Which is pretty damn tragic.

There is an upside to this update though. After two weeks of bussing, a fair amount of loud complaining, a job interview with a company with a very large parking lot and a request to the head of parking from the director of our department on my behalf, grease came to the squeaky wheel. Come October 1 I will once again be able to park my car at work. Which leaves me with a mix of emotions ranging from gratitude to guilt for the special treatment and then annoyance that the option to pay for parking falls under the heading of special treatment here. At FoodUSA special treatment meant a corner office with five windows (from which I could see my car) and free lunch everyday. Not that that kind of burn rate panned out particularly well for FoodUSA, but free drinkable water would at least be nice here at the T.O.P. Is there no middle ground?

Back to bussing, it turns out I bus a lot like I drive – quite often taking the scenic route and rarely on the same route at the same time as the day before. I’ve seen and learned a fair amount on my travels so I thought I’d pass along a few anecdotes and lessons:

• #8 westbound is always 7-12 minutes late. You will not make the transfer point in time.
• At roughly 9 a.m #15 eastbound goes from 90% white to 90% asian ridership
• Eastbound #2 in the a.m. has more young good-looking men on it then any other bus I’ve encountered. (I took this one 3 times to verify.)
• If you sit in the front of the bus on #65 westbound at 5 p.m., you will be included in the conversation, regardless of your willingness to do so.
• Saying thank you to the bus driver generally seems to go a long way…
• and may even get you dropped off at your house if you’re the only one on the bus at night.
• When heading downtown #14 westbound may take Campus Drive or it may not, apparently at the whim of the driver.
• There is an unfriendly male bus driver on #65 westbound who purposely tries to make people wipe out by braking hard as people approach the doors to get off. The regular riders discuss it openly and view it as a challenge.
• If you’re riding home through the suburbs at night and the lights inside the bus are on it is impossible to see outside the bus. If you’re unfamiliar with the route you need to sit in the elderly/handicapped seats so you can see out the non-tinted front window.
• On warm days busses can easily overheat and kill when the bus comes to a stop. If you’re in this situation and volunteer, at least one bus driver will actually let you jump out of the bus moving at about 2 mph to avoid a shutdown. No joke.
• Car-driving friends are liable to take pity on you and pick you up/take you to lunch/drop you off if you tell them bus anecdotes to amuse them.